it's fair to say i've not been myself lately. or, actually, i've been the most "myself" i've been in ages, which isn't great, when "myself" is typically miserable and anxiety-ridden - not ideal at all. but, after a few not-helpful conversations with people who tend to just think that "get over it" is the right sort of thing to say someone struggling with mental health, i actually just decided to... well, get on with it instead. rather than avoid friends, i made time for them. instead of skip the gym, i decided to just go and try. i substituted netflix time with fresh food time, and tried to just survive as much as possible. and actually? who knew a bit of positive mental attitude could actually make a difference.
taco tuesdays
have a friend that just feels good for your soul? for me, that's rosh. before this year i had only met her once, at the first london colour walk, but this year, we have made time for each other. why? i'm not sure why we decided it was worth a go, but boyyyy am i glad we did, because she and i just click. we are on the very same wave length, we both enjoy tacos and tequila, and we work walking distance from each other - that, according to basic logic, equals taco tuesday meet ups in fitzrovia, and last week was the most recent installment. plus it fell around dia de los muertos, and i had just seen coco the day before, so it was sorrrrrt of fate. and, did i mention she's good for the soul? she's like a therapist and life coach and design lover and colour queen and tequila all rolled into one, aaaand, that's my kinda gal.
just breathe
at my lowest last week, i read a tweet that was literally a list of suggestions to survive. the list started with "stand up and stretch" and i thought to myself how silly that was, but then i looked at how i was sat, and i was slumped over. the day before i'd been horizontal most of the day. the weekend before that, i was in bed with a cracking tension headache, and hadn't actually stood up and stretched in a long time. so actually, i stopped taking my body for granted and remembered that i should exercise not because i hate my body, but because i love it. so, i walked. a lot. in my lunch break, two days in a row, i walked for a full hour. i worked up a sweat, i felt my blood pumping, i inhaled and exhaled, and it felt wonderful to be alive.
doggy daycare
i had the opportunity this weekend to dog sit monty overnight while his humans were away. rather than take him to mine, where there are newborns below and aggy neighbours above, i offered to stay with him in his own house so he didn't feel nervous. his humans left me out pizza and breakfast, fresh towels and a big spare bed, and honestly.. it was great. we watched criminal minds and snuggled in the evening, then in the morning got up early and had a big walk in the fresh air, made some friends in the park, and it was glorious. the very best way to start a recovery weekend, for sure. dogs are just good for the soul.
back to back brunch
as a belated birthday brunch, i met bex at 'little bat' in islington on saturday. suffering with a lingering hangover from some late work drinks during the week, i started with a bloody mary - my first! i can't believe i'd never had one before, because it was the exact thing i needed to kick that hangover's arse. that said, i probably should have stopped there - though, i didn't. nope, two hours of bottomless prosecco followed, and then another three or so hours of drinking cocktails after that. yeeeep, it was boozy, but so worth it. the next day i followed it up with something a lot more sensible; another brunch date, this time with jasmin at 'brother marcus' in balham. fruit smoothie, coffee, and tenderstem broccoli were on the cards this time - a picture of pure health, me. or simply trying to undo some damage, maybe? you be the judge!
all in all, it's been a good week. there've been highs and lows, as always, but i think it's important to stop and remember the things that do make you smile day to day; otherwise, you'll get bogged down with the rest, and that's where the problems manifest really. so, yeah. onwards!
