the last time i saw my mum was march 8th, 2020. it was just as the covid pandemic was beginning to be seen for what it was, but at the time didn't feel like it would be anything more than a couple of weeks of no loo roll or spaghetti in the supermarket. at the time, i didn't know that would be the last time i would be allowed to see her for... well, that we still don't know. and now, while she is living an almost-normal life back home, i will spend another mother's day in the uk without my mum - without anyone, really. i miss my mum.
i've always been a very independent person, until - of course -
something "adult" happens, like my boiler goes or i find mould in my
flat, or peanut has a funny tummy, and then - even at the tender age of 36 - my
mum is still the first person i will go to for help. she has the patience of a
saint, my mum and, despite us looking near identical, that is a virtue of hers
i did not get!
things i did get from my mum, that i'm endlessly
happy about: my kindness, humility, quest for adventure, and love for animals.
we share a passion for travel, for asian food, and for crime dramas. we read
the same books, watch the same films, and have the same (terrible) eyebrows. i
am my mother's daughter, there's no denying that - one look at us together will
prove it. (unless you're the lovely older lady we met in the north island of nz
last year, who asked us how we knew each other...)
something else i got from my mum, much to the dismay of many, is my lax approach to skincare. growing up, i would watch my mum get ready for bed every night, and it looked like this: contact lenses out and into their little saline bowls for the night (this was the 90s, you didn't throw them away!), warm water and a foam cleanser from whatever pyramid scheme she belonged to at the time, then "oil of ulay" night cream slapped on every bit of skin, from eyebrow to elbow, all in one go. that was it.
that's the kind of no bullshit attitude to skincare the women in this family take, and one i sometimes try to veer away from but always come running back to, when i realise how boring a whole skincare regime is and how anything other than water and night cream makes me break out. it's not just skincare that my mum has no time for, she also doesn't bother with make-up. this is why it took her about a year to work out that i had stolen a sample size foundation of hers, that was wholly the wrong shade for me, and was wearing it to school without her noticing, or that the one eyeliner pen she had was now the length of her pinky finger, and heavily used, despite never really using it.
she's a "no-muss, no-fuss" kinda woman when it comes to
lotions and potions, preferring to jazz up her outfits with accessories
instead. when we'd go out, she was all about that day cream (not even spf,
tut!), and a lightly tinted lip balm she threw in her bag, and that was it.
unlike me, who - aged 15 - got her first job working on the make-up counter at
the local department store, and came home nightly with sparkly new palettes,
all colours of the rainbow, to experiment with. my love of a sparkly eye
remains, 20+ years later, too. for her, a spritz of perfume and a dangly earring to finish the look was all it took.
i left home at 21, and since then have caught her on many occasions, wearing some of my favourite perfumes. she insists it's because i "left them behind" when i moved, and she started wearing them, but it's obviously because she misses me. the biggest culprit for this is the classic lovely by sarah jessica parker. it's now the most affordable perfume on the market, but it's my signature scent - and by association, my mum's too - and she will never turn up here on holiday without another bottle of the women's perfume for me. but, times do change, and these days she's moved on to stealing my marc jacobs scents when i go to visit, so much so that she now has declare daisy dream to be "her perfume". it's bloody not, but i'm not going to argue with an oap. *wink*
there's now nothing i won't do to get my hands on the latest version of daisy dream when i can - the floral and fruity scent simply makes me think of my mum, and wearing it makes me feel like i am close to her. the combination of sweet jasmine and lychee mixed with the sharp pear and grapefruit just feels like a great big hug, and there's nothing i want more right now than that. (boy am i am glad to see it's on sale at the mo at boots!)(*stocks up*)
i miss my mum. i miss my mum, and i don't know when i'll see her
next. so, this mother's day i plan to celebrate my mum in my own way by wearing
"her perfume", rocking a shimmery eyelid and a lightly tinted lip,
and order in some delicious asian food while watching a terrific crime film.
might even give her a call - wouldn't that be something.
*this post is written
in conjunction with Boots UK but all thoughts are my own*
