image courtesy of estelle morris
i don't really spend too long getting ready in the morning, for a girl anyway. i plan my outfits the night before (mentally recalling what's in my wardrobe versus what's clean and what i haven't worn in two weeks then pairing items together to build an outfit. it helps me sleep.), and i set my alarm as late as possible to allow for optimal sleeping time. i just am not a morning person, and i'm a no muss, no fuss kinda of girl. that's not always been the case, no. i used to really care about my appearance, and make sure i was properly made up and set for work, but then i moved to london.
there's nothing worse than spending hours primping and priming your face, applying the extra layer of lacquer to the lips, perfecting the cat eye sweeps on each eye, straightening the fringe and spraying it all in place to then leave the house only to be met with a combination of gale force winds and blistering cold air, rendering all that work utterly pointless. unfortunately, i had to learn this the hard way.
let me tell you a story; one particularly cold and cruel morning i was readying for work. i was still sleeping on a sofa in my friend's flat in essex, and my commute into london included a ten minute walk to-and-from stations at both ends. it was march, and it was freezing (i was very fresh off the plane, so to speak). i'd finished my morning ritual of blow drying and setting my fringe, i'd perfected my winged eye liner, and applied the final coat of lippy before heading out to start my day. well, as soon as i'd taken the first step across the threshold, i knew i was facing a challenge. the wind was biting, and strong. within seconds, my eyes were watering, and my hair was blown all across my face. i battled with my mane as best i could, and wiped away the never ending stream of cold tears until i was in the safety of the train carriage. thankful for the warm inside, i peeled off layers and settled in to the hour-long journey to work. having to change underground, i rugged back up, hopped on the tube, and within another half an hour, i was grabbing my coffee before work.
i said my good mornings to the barista as usual, but he stared back, eyes wide and mouth agog. "are you... ok?" he asked strangely. "yes, thank you... how are you?" shocked by his unusual attempt at conversation (it wasn't our style), i wasn't sure how else to respond. "oh, good. you just seem... flustered?" shocked by his bluntness, i reached out to grab my coffee from his hand and briefly caught my reflection in the side of his machine; the noise that escaped my throat in that moment was something between a "meeep" and a "gaaahhd". i pushed the coffee back to his hand, and fled to the customer toilets. there, i assessed the disaster scenes i'd briefly caught in the reflection of the coffee machine; the winged eye liner that was perfectly symmetrical mere hours early had smudged into some morning-after slash rock chick type vibe, while my sticky lippy had joined forced with my windswept mane, and smudged my coral pink lipstick aaaall around my mouth, and up onto my cheek. it was dire, and i was unsure how to rectify.
in the end, some clever use of soap and water really did the trick, because what i did was remove all of the make up from my face, go to boots, buy more (cheap stuff, sbvs), and then replace it all before anyone else had to suffer like that poor, poor barista did. this story is just one of many real moments that simply be are asking women around the uk to share on twitter as part of their #simplybereal campaign. as well as sharing the moments of fashion faux pas and hair horror stories, freelance illustrators have been commissioned to illustrate our stories to really capture the terribleness of them, and show that actually... we've all been there. well, maybe not there, but certainly somewhere close, right? i am so blessed to have been partnered with the super talented estelle morris, who's managed to do my disaster story so much justice in her creative depiction. the likeness in her drawing is uncanny, don't you think?
now, make me feel better by telling me this has totally happened to you before.
if not, at least tell me something to make me feel better!
*written in collaboration with brand. story is 100% mine...unfortunately*
