if you read about how we ended up in bognor regis, on the island of butlin's on friday night, you'll understand how and why saturday morning may have started out a little later than normal and a lot more worse for wear. although, it did start with a fry up thanks to one clever lad and his eagerness so very early in the morning - something i will be eternally grateful for (although, no condiments were acquired...hrm). saturday also started out with some epic thunder and lightening (and rain), which is always fun... when you're sea-side and hear weather warnings of flooding for the south coast. as it turns out, the angry weather was largely confined to above our apartment, and gone in a matter of hours, which left us with some brilliant blue skies and a whole afternoon of glorious sun to bask in. when we finally emerged from our sleepy, hungover haze, we were off to explore the resort!
not satisfied with the high quality of amusements available on the resort, we decided to take our selves to the beach (beach) front for some existential analysis of our lives and ponder the greater meaning of life. deep stuff on a hangover, i assure you. the weather was sunny, and there was still a lingering chill in the air from the earlier rain, and i swear to you, there was nothing more magical or morning-after satisfying that sitting on a slightly damp pebble beach with some excellent humans and just soaking in that vitamin d. glorious, i tell you. even with tights on (waarrrrm). there were puppies to entertain, and old ladies failing in the water, and even one very northern lad burning to a crisp in the great southern waves. it was a top morning, to say the least.
when the hunger pangs hit, we headed into town to hunt down some seaside nourishment. obviously it was going to be fish and chips and hair of the dog, but not before a touch of swing dancing down the high street to the local jazz busker and mooching around the wee weekend market selling fresh fruit and veg, and mostly junky tat. in the brewer's fayre we sourced the nourishment (fish pie, thanks for asking) we so deserved, and waited it our in the sunny beer garden until it was almost time for us to head back for the actual reason we were even at butlin's... the festival of comedy, baby!
well, er, not before hitting up the arcade in the grand pavilion, obviously. 2p machines are such a waste of time and money, and for the £2 i changed up to play, we won a grand total of 37 tickets. want to know what one can acquire from the ticket-change-prize-win-facility with 37 tickets? exactly 3.7 maoams. there's something incredibly wrong with that, in my humble opinion.
now, even though we had tickets to the main event that day, we were required to join the queue (a great british tradition if i've ever seen one) an hour earlier than entirely necessary to ensure we got our seats and the show didn't 'sell out'. considering the tickets were only sold to people staying in the resort, and you'd expect them to not oversell something they can accurately account for, i was... bewildered about this. but, ho hum, we joined the incredibly long line, and hoped for the best. and, wouldn't you know it, found our seats with exactly 45 minutes to spare. what do you do when you're 45 minutes early to a comedy gig? yesssssum; you drink.
that afternoon we were treated to the comedy styling of some great comedians, all prepping and trialing their sets for the fringe later in the year. the show we saw on Saturday included the line up of greg burns as compere, with dave spikey and lee nelson headlining. greg burns i know from the radio, but did not know he was a comic. well. geez be bare funny, innit! he came and went in between acts, and was a brilliant host; warming us up and keeping up laughing between headliners. dave spikey i'd not heard of, and was less impressed by. i guess he's one of those english institutions i tend to... not find funny because i didn't grow up with them. he was ok, i laughed a bit. mostly at his accent. aaah, northerners.
up last was lee nelson. i've seen him before, and not been impressed. i get he's a character comic, but his whole set basically was talking smack about members of the audience. which, is fine, it can be funny. but, i quite like some comedy at comedy gigs, not just prepared insults and hoping-to-find-a-scouser/scotty-in-the-crowd-to-pick-on. it was nothing i'd not heard before, and so i was itching to get out of the uncomfortable chair and back to the room to eat/drink/drink some more. amy and alex both found lee funny though, and as they were there for him, i guess that was kinda ok.
that night, rather than head back to bar rosso for more stag do shenanigans, we made a detour via the dance floor in the main hall where scottish band 'the chebbs' (which apparently is northern slang for boobs?) were playing a set. here's the thing; any band that starts and ends their set with queen, and fills it with take that, kol, a-ha and oasis, will aaaaaaaalways get rave reviews from me. they played for exactly one hour. we danced, sang along, and got the whole room out of their seats, for exactly one hour. it was the perfect way to end an already incredible day...
except, that's not where we ended our day. because it was only midnight, and we had no other option to go back to the hell that was scum-bar rosso, that's where we ended the night; at a table in the corner while the dj recycled his set from the night before, where amy threw all her drinks on the floor (and me), alex lost half a pint of guinness to two shades of lipstick, and i threw shade at anyone who came near me (i'm looking at you, fake-heisenberg, you creep) because no amount of alcohol was making me feel ok about being in that bar. again. ok, so i may have thrown a tanty, get over it.
day two on the island of butlin's was certainly entertaining!
